Saturday 17 September 2016


Innocent folk often mistake Castelul Bran near Brasov for Dracula’s real-life castle:

It isn’t, Poenari is:


Oh, dear. Comparing the two, it isn't difficult to see why more visitors go to the former rather than the latter.



Mind you, Brasov is definitely a must-see, one of the best preserved baroque cities in Europe and home to Colette’s Bakery (fine wine bar upstairs) and the extraordinarily surreal Festival ’39 restaurant. I spent a lot of time in Brasov, based in an apartment next to Sex Shop off Republicii. When I wasn’t writing, Dimitris of Salonika plied me with souvlaki and local prostitutes told me to ‘eat their cat’ – I suspect
something got lost in translation – and I avoided the crowds at Bran Castle and the Vlad tankards. But I did have an encounter of the gothic kind in a high-end music bar.



It was four years ago and this is what I wrote at the time…    



A strange painting has turned up at the Art Bistro. It appeared as if by magic last night above the bar. No one knows how it got there. In the painting is a little girl in a black cowl sitting on the back of a two-headed red dragon. The dragon has opened one eye and looking straight at me. The girl’s eyes are cast down at the dragon. They appear to be in a cave but, on closer inspection, it is the silhouette of Kronstadt forming a circle around them. Maybe the mouth of a cave, maybe not. Is the dragon guarding the girl? The girl is the mistress of the dragon? Guarding the city? Not a single person in the Art Bistro knows what the painting signifies but everyone likes it.   


There is something archetypal about the painting. At first the tones and style of the painting remind me of the work of Hieronymus Bosch: the dragon could come from The Garden of Earthly Delights. But then I’m not so sure. It’s too gentle, connecting. Then I look at the girl again. Now I get it: the creatures and people in Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away. Western and Eastern archetypal connections.


The next day I return to the Art Bistro but the painting has gone.



Sunday 4 September 2016

Siamese Gothic

"When I was young I wanted to change the world, forge an empire, discover the secret of immortality and wear outrageously priced waistcoats decorated with those gold ankhs you can buy in Mrs Miggins' occult shop in Chelsea. But now my knees hurt and I just want leave the room with a little dignity - Fortuna has not been kind to me, Camille."

"Have another cup of green tea and stop complaining, uncle."

"You don't sound terribly sympathetic."

"I'm not. You've no-one to blame but yourself."

Baron H. Parzifal talking to his niece
Bangkok, 1821